Steve & Pati Dobernic:

Steve was born on a cloudy day in St. Louis, MO. He made a reputation for himself from the start by becoming the first newborn to retaliate against a doctor for smacking his butt. Only seconds after birth, Steve knocked that doctor out cold!

He immediately showed signs of infant delinquency syndrome by stealing the rattles of the poor unsuspecting infants within arms reach, and by sneaking extra doses of Children's Tylenol. At age three he was blackmailing his baby sitters for cigarette money, and insisting they put Jack Daniels in his sippy cup.

At age six he gained his first experience in building motors, unfortunately he also got arrested for stealing the motorcycle to get the motor!

At age eight he was again arrested. This time for growing marijuana in his backyard for the purpose of resale (although, authorities were impressed by his success and business skills!)

By age fourteen Steve was expelled from school for selling Hustler Magazines to fellow students, again demonstrating his sales and marketing skills. Steve was reinstated immediately when it was discovered that most of the teaching staff had purchased the magazines from him.

By age sixteen he played in a band called the "Bone Heads", and by age eighteen Steve had started his own after market motorcycle stolen parts business and demonstrated his leadership skills by managing an assembly team of top female topless mechanics.

By age twenty he was known worldwide for many things: his winning smile, his innovative ideas, his motor building and business skills, and most notably for the corruption of hundreds of young innocent females. Although he was nearly forced to the altar many times by irate fathers, he managed to escape until age 26, when he met his charming raven haired wife, Pati.

The happy couple have three wonderful children who are oddly enough, quite normal. Mr. and Mrs. Bones successfully own and operate the legendary Bad Bones. Mrs. Bones has been an integral part of the business and of the correction of Mr. Bones somewhat deviate behavior.

Pati has shown a talent for writing, and aspires to be a famous writer one day. She has just completed her first book "Skeletons In The Closet" and currently is in the process of writing her next book entitled "Marriage... The Laugh's On Me".

When asked the secret behind Mr. Bones' notoriety, Pati says, "It's his lyin', cheatin', cold dead beatin', two timing, double dealing, mean mistreatin' loving heart!"